There was a time when I struggled with feelings of envy. I’d watch others accomplish their dreams while I felt stuck, unable to move forward. That envy, if left unchecked, can quickly turn into despair. Despair turns into watchful eyes, and before you know it, you’re in a cycle of procrastination and yearning—wishing instead of doing. I’ve learned to channel these emotions and use them as fuel for my own path, and I want to share how you can do the same. It’s not about comparison; it’s about being inspired and taking action toward your own goals. I’ve learned to channel these emotions and use them as fuel for my own path, and I want to share how you can do the same. It’s not about comparison; it’s about being inspired and taking action toward your own goals. Here are 10 ways to keep yourself accountable and overcome envy.
Here are 10 ways to keep yourself accountable and overcome envy.
1. Acknowledge Your Envy
The first and most important step is to admit that you feel envy. It’s natural to experience it, and the key is not to suppress it but to recognize it for what it is. Take a moment to write down what’s triggering your feelings of envy. Is it someone’s success in a particular area, like career or relationships? Understanding the source helps you address it. Once you’ve identified the cause, reflect on why it bothers you. Is it because you desire the same outcome for yourself, or do you feel like you’re falling behind?
Start journaling when feelings of envy arise. Write down what sparked those feelings and how you can transform that envy into a goal. Doing this consistently will allow you to catch patterns over time, giving you a roadmap of what you truly want.
2. Focus on Your Unique Journey
It’s easy to fall into the comparison trap, but remember, no two paths are the same. What works for one person may not work for another, and that’s okay. You’re on your own unique journey with your own timeline. Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on your personal growth. Celebrate the milestones you’ve achieved, no matter how small. This shift in perspective helps reduce envy and turns your focus inward.
Make a list of personal achievements—things you’ve accomplished that make you proud. Revisit this list when you feel envy creeping in. It will remind you that you are capable and making progress in your own way.
3. Set Tangible Goals
Instead of passively observing the success of others, get clear about your own ambitions. Take that feeling of envy and use it as motivation to set achievable goals for yourself. These should be goals that genuinely excite you and push you forward. The act of setting a goal helps to redirect your energy from envying others to taking meaningful steps toward your own vision.
Break down your dreams into actionable steps. Create weekly or monthly tasks that are tied to long-term objectives. Review these regularly to track progress and adjust when necessary. To help you visualize your goals, dream life and how to create an action plan to achieve the highest version of yourself grab our Vision Board Workbook here.
4. Turn Inspiration into Action
Rather than letting jealousy weigh you down, look at the habits and strategies of those you admire. What is it about them that makes you envious? Instead of staying stuck in comparison, take note of their work ethic, routines, or mindset. Once you identify the specific traits or habits you admire, adopt them in your own life. Let these practices inspire you to become the best version of yourself.
Write down three things you admire about someone who inspires you. Break down those qualities into habits or behaviors that you can implement in your own life. Start small and build up consistency over time.
5. Develop a Gratitude Practice
Gratitude is one of the most effective antidotes to envy. When you focus on what you already have, it becomes easier to appreciate your own journey instead of longing for someone else’s life. Daily gratitude helps reframe your mindset, moving from a place of lack to abundance. By recognizing your own blessings, you lessen the hold envy has over you.
Each morning, write down three things you’re grateful for. At the end of the week, review your list to see how focusing on gratitude has shifted your mindset. Make this a daily habit to transform your outlook over time.
6. Surround Yourself with Positive Influences
The people and content you engage with have a direct impact on how you feel about yourself. If you’re constantly around people who make you feel like you’re not enough or who fuel your feelings of envy, it’s time to reassess. Instead, surround yourself with individuals who encourage your growth and support your dreams. Additionally, be mindful of the content you consume—social media, for instance, can trigger feelings of inadequacy.
Audit your social media feeds and the people you spend time with. Unfollow or mute accounts that make you feel less-than. Instead, follow accounts that inspire and uplift you. Consider joining communities where positivity and support are prioritized.
7. Create an Actionable Plan
You’ve set goals, but now it’s time to create a clear, actionable plan. Without one, it’s easy to stay stuck in envy and procrastination. Break down each goal into manageable tasks that you can work on consistently. Focus on small, steady progress instead of perfection. As you complete each task, you’ll feel more empowered and less fixated on the success of others.
Break down your big goals into weekly tasks. Use a planner or task manager to keep track, and hold yourself accountable by checking off each completed action. Review your progress at the end of each week to stay motivated.
Pro tip: Take at look at your daily screen time, make it a point to reduce the time spent mindlessly scrolling and replace that with productive activities that will help you reach your goals.
8. Celebrate Others
A powerful way to shift from envy to admiration is by genuinely celebrating the successes of others. Not only does this create positive energy, but it also helps you realize that someone else’s success doesn’t take away from your potential. When you congratulate others, you’re signaling to yourself that there’s enough success to go around for everyone.
Next time someone close to you achieves something, offer them a heartfelt congratulations. Take a moment to reflect on how their success can inspire you, rather than feeling envious. It helps you move from a place of scarcity to abundance.
9. Seek Out Mentorship
It’s easy to feel envious when you see someone excelling in areas you aspire to succeed in. Instead of letting envy fester, reach out to them for advice or mentorship. Often, people are more willing to share their knowledge than you’d think. Seeking mentorship is an act of humility and an opportunity to learn from those who have walked the path before you.
Identify one or two people whose success you admire and respectfully ask for their mentorship or advice. Be specific about what you want to learn, and make the most of any guidance they offer.
The greatest thing about mentors is that mentor doesn’t have to know that you’re their mentee. You can adopt someone that you admire online, copy their habits, daily routine and work ethic. You don’t have to formally introduce yourself, just gather information ( No need to copy or mimic their brand) that they graciously share online to their following.
10. Practice Self-Compassion
Lastly, it’s important to give yourself grace. Everyone experiences setbacks, and it’s okay to feel envy from time to time. The key is not to dwell on it or be hard on yourself for feeling it. Understand that personal growth is a long-term process, and each step—no matter how small—is progress.
Whenever you find yourself falling into negative self-talk or envy, pause and take a deep breath. Replace those thoughts with a compassionate affirmation, such as, “I am on my own journey, and I’m making progress every day.”
By using envy as a tool for motivation rather than letting it spiral into despair, you can unlock your potential and start building the life you admire in others. Let these steps be your guide, and remember, your path is unique and worthy of celebration. You got this beautiful!