A wave of self development TIKTOK videos are on the rise. How to become “that girl” or how to become your higher self has taken over my (and your) timeline.
Leveling up your life can seem out of reach when you have daily obstacles in your way. There comes a point where you become sick and tire of being sick and tired.
Sleeping in all day, doom scrolling online for hours will NOT get you the life of your dreams, It will get you the life you settle for.
This guide will help you jumpstart your level up journey and become THAT girl.
1. Stability
Let’s start with phase one, stability.
I had worked my way up out of survival mode by establishing stability and creating a sanctuary in my home.
Stable Living environment, stable income & reliable transportation
Your top priority is stable income, housing and transportation, this is ground zero.
Get out of your dysfunctional housing arrangement, escape the chaos, do not normalized it.
Your home should be your sanctuary, not a battlefield where you’re walking on eggshells with your family, spouse or roommates.
A chaotic household is not conducive to your growth. The drama of it all will keep you distracted, stagnant and in a place of scarcity.
Room sharing is fine, but be very serious about who you live with, do a lot of research, interviews to weed low quality out.
Make sure you get the best candidate to share your space with!
2. Focus on your finances/ Improve your credit score
Doing the work to get your credit together, paying off debt, getting your finances in order helps you become THAT GIRL for real.
Being responsible with your finances can drastically change the quality of your life in a matter of a few short years.
Credit is extremely important because it controls approval for a new car, an apartment and qualifying for a mortgage in the future.
Begin laying the foundation of your financial journey now, I have a full video on how to level up your finances on my youtube channel you can watch it here.
Pick a part time gig, learn a new skill to leverage a higher paying job, start a side hustle to pay off existing debt and get approved for new lines of credit.
Get on a budget and stick to it, I created a yearly budget spreadsheet to track my spending, expenses and investments. You can get your copy here!
With this strategy I was able to grow my overall credit score 590 to 750 in less than 2 years.
3. Consider relocation ( dont worry it can be temporarily)
You cannot save much money when your rent is $4000 for a two bedroom apartment in San Francisco.
Moving to a more affordable city, where you can have your own place for under $1500 (even less than $800 with a room share) gives you more money to invest rather than throwing to it to high rent and living expenses.
I requested a job transfer to more affordable city, a few months later my transfer was approved and I left California. In Maryland, I was able to save and invest more than 30% of my income!
2 years after moving to a new city, I was able to buy my first property at the age of 29.
4. Dating Hiatus
if your dating life is constant cycle of one night stands, situationships and dysfunctional relationships with men who don’t care for you.
Honey, take this as a sign to bump the breaks in the dating department.
Aimlessly dating with no purpose in sight gets you nowhere, especially if you desire long term commitment.
You must develop your self concept and unroot unworthiness deep within your subconscious mind otherwise you will gravitate towards men who will mistreat you.
The relationship you have with yourself is the most important relationship you’ll ever have. Honor yourself by creating a life that excites you regards of who is in it.
Take a break from dating, delete Bumble, Hinge and Tinder apps from your phone. Ghost your situationship and lock in on your goals for the new year.
You can watch the full video “How you level up your dating standards” here.
5. Celibacy
Men feed off your feminine and sexual energy (your life force) to build themselves up. Use that sexual energy for yourself to manifest the life of your dreams.
Create a business, start a blog, enrolled into a coaching program, get that certification but please DO NOT respond to that late night text.
Going to pound-town isn’t going to get you where you want to be.
There is a high possibility that you are using causal sex as a means to distract yourself from doing the much needed inner work.
FYI abstaining from sex doesn’t have to be forever or until marriage. The goal here is to decenter men and recenter yourself as the star in your life.
Women who aren’t afraid to be alone become a force to be reckon with, eliminate distractions by filling up your life with meaningful activities, events, trips and friendships.
Pick a hobby or two that you enjoyed as a child.
Use this time to get to reconnected with yourself, find out what you do and do not like, this will help you establish new boundaries for yourself and for others to follow!
6. Adapt a growth mindset
A growth mindset is a persons ability to believe that they can improve their life with dedication and hard work.
Talent alone is not enough, seek new information and establish routines to change your life.
The first step to change is to stop being a victim.
Stop wasting your time complaining about the way your living, being a pessimist will not get you out of the cycle of despair and scarcity.
Watch motivational videos on youtube videos, start following creators that inspire you to change while mimicking their habits, routine and speech.
7. Visualized your future
What would you life look if there was no limits? Where would you live? What kind of car would you drive? What kind of friends would you surround yourself with. What kind of clothes would you wear?
Asking yourself these questions will help you establish long and short term goals that align with your desired future and lifestyle.
Check out this 30 page vision board workbook with exercises and guided questions to help organized your thoughts and intentions, grab your copy here.
8. Routines and Systems
Begin your morning and night with a daily routine.
This could look like starting your day with a 15 min yoga stretch follow by a long walk in the neighborhood and ending your night planning out the next day follow by journaling before bed.
This will help you get most out of your of day, tackle big to dos while staying on track with your long term goals.
The routine doesn’t have to be complicated or 3 hours long, your systems just need to align with your overall vision.
Becoming THAT GIRL is a journey, be patient with yourself and enjoy the ride!
